100 This or That Questions to Get to Know Someone Fast
Quick-fire this or that questions about food, travel, habits, entertainment and life, perfect for breaking the ice in a text chat.
Last updated October 10, 2026
What is this or that?
"This or that" is the simplest icebreaker there is. You give someone two options, such as "cats or dogs?", and they pick one. No explanation needed, no pressure, and it takes a second to answer. Because it's so quick, you can learn a surprising amount about a person in just a couple of minutes, and you'll almost always find something you agree on, or a harmless disagreement worth talking about.
It's ideal in a text chat with someone new. You can send a few in a row, answer them yourself, and then pick the most interesting answer to dig into. Here are 100 to get you started, grouped by theme.
A few ways to play:
- Rapid fire. Send five in one message and both answer all of them at once.
- One each. Take turns sending a single pair and say a sentence about why.
- Guess first. Before they answer, guess what they'll pick. Getting it wrong is half the fun.
Food and drink
The quickest way to start a friendly argument.
- Tea or coffee?
- Pizza or burgers?
- Sweet or savoury?
- Spicy or mild?
- Breakfast or dinner?
- Chocolate or crisps?
- Cooking at home or eating out?
- Rice or noodles?
- Ice cream or cake?
- Fruit or vegetables?
- Street food or restaurant?
- Pancakes or waffles?
- Juice or fizzy drinks?
- Hot chocolate or milkshake?
- Takeaway or home-cooked?
Travel and places
Especially fun with someone in another country. Ask where they'd go for their answer.
- Beach or mountains?
- City break or countryside?
- Window seat or aisle seat?
- Plane or train?
- Plan every detail or go with the flow?
- Hotel or camping?
- Summer or winter?
- Sunrise or sunset?
- Road trip or cruise?
- Travel alone or with friends?
- Famous sights or hidden gems?
- Pack light or pack everything?
- Hot weather or cold weather?
- Big city or small town?
- Abroad or at home?
Habits and personality
Small choices that say a lot about how someone lives.
- Morning person or night owl?
- Early or right on time?
- Texting or calling?
- Introvert or extrovert?
- Plans or spontaneity?
- Messy desk or tidy desk?
- Lists or memory?
- Shower in the morning or at night?
- Save money or spend it?
- Big party or small gathering?
- Stay in or go out?
- Talk it out or think it through alone?
- Alarm clock or wake up naturally?
- Snooze button or straight up?
- Lead or follow?
Films, music, books and games
A shortcut to someone's tastes, and a good source of recommendations.
- Films or series?
- Comedy or horror?
- Book or film adaptation?
- Paperback or e-reader?
- Music with lyrics or instrumental?
- Headphones or speakers?
- Concert or festival?
- Old songs or new releases?
- Video games or board games?
- Single player or multiplayer?
- Cinema or streaming at home?
- Podcasts or audiobooks?
- Superheroes or fantasy?
- Subtitles on or off?
- Binge-watch or one episode a week?
Everyday tech
Low-stakes questions that almost everyone has an opinion about.
- Phone or laptop?
- Dark mode or light mode?
- Voice notes or text messages?
- Emojis or no emojis?
- GIFs or stickers?
- Notifications on or off?
- Photos or videos?
- Wired earphones or wireless?
- Typing or handwriting?
- Tidy home screen or app chaos?
Animals and nature
Gentle questions that work well with anyone.
- Cats or dogs?
- Forest or desert?
- Rain or snow?
- Ocean or lake?
- Flowers or trees?
- Stars or clouds?
- Birds or fish?
- Spring or autumn?
- Thunderstorm or clear sky?
- Garden or balcony?
Bigger questions
Still quick to answer, but they tend to start longer conversations.
- Past or future?
- Love or money?
- Brains or luck?
- Fame or privacy?
- Adventure or comfort?
- Honesty or kindness?
- Change the world or understand it?
- Many friends or a few close ones?
- Live in the moment or plan ahead?
- Stay where you grew up or move far away?
- Learn a language or learn an instrument?
- Dream job or dream home?
- Be famous for a day or unknown forever?
- Start over or carry on?
- Ask questions or tell stories?
- Heart or head?
- Old friends or new friends?
- Big goals or small wins?
- Know everything or feel everything?
- Talk or listen?
From quick answers to a real conversation
This or that is a warm-up, not the whole conversation. The best moments come from following up: if someone picks mountains over the beach, ask about the best mountain view they've ever seen. If they choose voice notes over texting, maybe switch to a voice note yourself. After a handful of pairs, let the chat wander wherever it wants to go.
When you want something with a bit more to it, try our would you rather questions or our list of questions to ask a stranger. And if you're chatting with someone you've never met, our tips on staying safe chatting with strangers are worth a quick read.
Common questions
How do you play this or that in a chat?
Send two options and the other person picks one, quickly and without overthinking. Answer it yourself too, then swap. When an answer surprises you, ask why, because that's where the real conversation starts.
What's the difference between this or that and would you rather?
This or that is faster: simple pairs like "tea or coffee?" that take a second to answer. Would you rather questions are longer, often silly or tricky dilemmas that invite an explanation. Mixing both keeps a chat lively.
Is this or that a good way to start a chat with a stranger?
Yes. It's light, it isn't personal and it quickly shows what you have in common. You might send three or four in a row, then pick the most interesting answer and talk about it.
Try a few on someone new
Start chatting on StrangerYaar, a free, one-to-one text chat for adults aged 18 and over, with no sign-up. Pick a couple of interests to be matched with someone who shares them, and open with your favourite this or that.